IS THERE A SMOOTH WAY TO GET KIDS OUT OF THE HOUSE?

“If one morning with the kids didn’t work out, don’t worry, there are still many trials and mental breakdowns ahead.”

I recently heard from a friend that she was telling her daughter to hurry up and leave Nursery, because Lilly’s other daughter had an art workshop in 10 minutes. And when she refused to put on her shoes for the fifth time, my friend gave up and Anna went outside without them. As a mother of two young children (ages 4 and 7), I experience this type of trauma very often.

I’d be happier if the parents around me didn’t hide their true, everyday experiences with their children. And if parenting advice in books didn’t stray far from the realities of parenting.

In real life, every morning looks like this:

EXIT TIME

– before having children –

You get up, get dressed, spend time in the toilet, spend time in the kitchen, get your keys, and go out.

EXIT TIME

– after having children –

One of the children wakes you up by jumping on you or hitting you in the face with a Paw Patrol toy (in my case, it was the younger child).

No time for the toilet, no time for the kitchen, except for preparing breakfast for the children.

You’re dressed in 5 seconds. The older child is still tossing and turning in bed.

The younger one already has socks and when I asked: “Dory, please don’t run naked“, I heard the answer: “I’m not naked, I’m wearing socks.”

When I somehow managed to get them both down to breakfast, Dora was still wearing only socks, and Patrick was still in his pajamas.

Patrick, who always dresses quickly and is full of energy, waits by the door while Dorothy changes into her fifth pair of leggings.

At this hour, without breakfast, after a quick sip of coffee and an even quicker toilet visit, I try to find my keys.

Patrick starts sweating and asks Dora to zip up his jacket faster, but Dora takes forever because she wants to do everything herself, without his or my help. When we offer her help, she reacts angrily: “I can do it myself, leave me alone.” She reacts the same way when we try to help her put on her shoes, leggings, hat, etc.

When the kids are ready and it looks like we won’t be late, I’m still looking for the keys:

“Patrick, were you playing with my keys yesterday?”
“Yes, Mom.”
“Where did you put them?”
“I forgot.”

This is probably what all parents hear from their children very often. Funny, he still remembers and tells me off when I threw his dinosaur picture into the recycling.

In the end, luckily, Dora saves the day. She remembers putting my wallet in the trunk of their car (their shared toy) and seeing my keys there too.

“When did you take my wallet out of my purse?
“I don’t remember.”

My children have incredibly short memories.

Mostly I managed to organize the entire morning outs smoothly. A few times right next to the Nursery door, my daughter remembers that she didn’t have her favorite teddy bear for naptime. And this is a huge tragedy for her. Dora begins to cry, and Patrick says in a calm voice:

“Ehh, that’s not such a big problem, I see a bigger one.”
“What problem? Tell me quickly, please.”
“You have bird poop on your shoulder, Mommy.”

Unacceptable mornings

The stories you read in parenting books about how to eat meals with children and how to give them independence in dressing are sweet, but unrealistic. Mornings with children are unpredictable and always different. There have also been days when we walk slowly to school, but usually we run. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/ordinary-mornings-by-boss-baby/

I’ve concluded that the rules in parenting books were written by authors who either never had children or did, but their children were cared for by grandparents, nannies, or aunts. The rules of parenting are completely different when both parents work and grandparents are asked to occasionally babysit their grandchildren on weekends or when a child is sick.

I’m happy when my children are independent, because mine are. But children don’t understand the concept of time, the hour, or the minute. And any attempts to speed up morning rituals end in morning drama.

https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/the-specialist-in-childrens-morning-dramas-wanted-immediately/

Does this seem more familiar to you, my parents?

Or maybe in your case, everything goes according to the rules contained in parenting books?