EXPECTATIONS VERSUS REALITY OF A NEW MOM
“Behind every smile, there’s a mother who has cried in silence, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders”.
In this post, I wanted to reach out to NEW MOM who are bravely experiencing their first days at home with their little ones this holiday season. My heart and soul are with you. I know how difficult it is for you to move around with your baby at your breast. I know your stitches hurt, and you sleep less than two hours. It will all pass. I don’t know if the beginnings of motherhood were idyllic for any of you, but for me, they weren’t. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/nobody-asked-me/
I remember how new moms around me would show me images of their days with their little ones, which were always perfect. In their hypocritical world, there were never any difficult days. Nonsense!!! Don’t even consider that this might be the case. Put it out of your mind, just like you’d put the experience of childbirth behind you. Now it’s just you and your baby. To them, you’re the best mom in the world, and they’re your whole world.
How can you gently introduce expectant mothers to the challenges of motherhood?
In my case, I expected mothers to share their authentic emotions. However, they all hid behind masks of perfect motherhood. None of them presented the true experience of motherhood immediately after giving birth.
Why doesn’t anyone tell new moms they won’t sleep much for the first five years after giving birth?
When breastfeeding, you’ll fall asleep with your baby on your chest, because putting them to sleep in their crib will end in them crying. If you manage to get them into their crib, you’ll have them on your chest again within two hours.
Why doesn’t anyone tell women that their comfort level will drop to zero after giving birth?
The baby’s needs will be paramount.
Why do mothers hide behind a mask of perfection?
We hear from new mothers how their little ones sleep and eat beautifully. Nonsense. Mothers pretend to be strong, denying they experience baby blues, exhaustion, and meltdowns. They hide behind fake smiles, crying in corners.
Why don’t they share their opinions about the painful period of breastfeeding?
They only publicize the bond between baby and breast.
Where and when can a new mother talk about the postpartum period?
Would sharing experiences terrify expectant mothers? I don’t understand the senseless hiding of the truth for years, from one generation to the next. And then this new mother is left in a world where she thinks there’s something wrong with her because her breasts hurt. She thinks she’s doing everything wrong because the baby isn’t sleeping. She can’t find any other explanation for postpartum depression other than that it’s all her fault because no one warned her.
How can labor pain be compared to menstruation?
I remember broaching the subject of childbirth with a friend who had given birth and seeing the panic in her eyes. But with me, she shared, “It hurts like a period, and you have painful periods, so you won’t feel anything during labor.”
During your period, you don’t push a watermelon out of your vagina while feeling stool coming out of the other opening.
What kind of stupid rules are these?
Don’t hide the fact that first-time mothers won’t panic and will remember how to breathe during the first contractions. By sharing this information, expectant mothers will feel more confident and better prepared for labor. Who better to help a new mother through this difficult time than experienced mothers? Don’t spread idiotic advice or suggest we’re doing something wrong. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/how-to-screw-up-new-moms-day/
When I was preparing for labor, all I heard was that everything bad would be over as soon as they put the baby on my chest. That feeling is truly incomparable. But nothing truly goes away; this is only the beginning. You’re stitched up, covered in pain, and sent home. No one waits for you to stop suffering and bleeding. The baby is healthy, that’s the most important thing, so you go home, where you have to deal with everything on your own.
Why didn’t I trust my maternal instinct?
I should thank Mother Nature for women’s maternal instincts. They really do exist. With my first child, I wasn’t convinced, but with my second, I completely surrendered to them. With Patrick, they advised me to take him to the doctor because he wasn’t sleeping much and was constantly clinging to my chest. When he stopped napping after 10 months, the nursery staff also recommended I see a doctor.
And you know what’s worst about all this?
Only women – mothers – gave me such hallucinogenic advice. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/with-the-witchs-advice-my-coffee-never-tastes-the-same/
I remember my instincts telling me, “Patrick is eating well, he’s growing, developing, nothing’s wrong with him. The fact that he’s not sleeping through the night and only napping is simply my own suffering as a mother.” And it’s true. I sacrificed a lot in the first years of motherhood, and I’m alive. And my child is a wonderful and strong boy who, although he didn’t sleep through the night until he was three, didn’t harm him at all. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/new-sleeping-routine-by-patrick/
MY CHRISTMAS LIST FOR NEW MOMS
- I think it’s wonderful when mothers speak their truth, share their experiences, and talk about the joys and challenges of motherhood.
- Cry with other mothers, not just at home with your baby.
- Trust your intuition and your own psyche.
- Unfortunately, we are not spared from the pain and imperfections of childbirth.
- It’s comforting to hear from another mother that her sheets are stained with blood every day.
- That stitches heal fastest when aired out.
- Chamomile baths relieve pain from incisions.
- Moisture cream is a huge help for cracked breasts from day one.
- For better milk production, try Porridge.
- It’s best for breastfeeding mothers to always keep a water bottle by the bed.
- Wear a muslin diaper every time you go out; you’re less likely to get your clothes dirty if your baby has reflux.
I know I won’t be able to help new moms with everything I cover in this post. The holidays are here, and I’d like to let you new moms know, even if only in a small way, that I’ve been through the same things you’ve been through. I also lacked support and didn’t feel like a good enough mom. However, next year will be another holiday season, and you will gain experience, gain confidence, and become a wonderful moms. You will get through it all because you are strong and love your child above all else.
I wish you tender and peaceful nights with your little one.
