ORDINARY MORNINGS BY BOSS BABY

“PARENTHOOD- the scariest hood you will ever go through”.

6 a.m. and the sound of small feet it’s coming. This is my teeny weeny private alarm clock. Never ever later, not on the weekend, why? A day like any other for my children. Mornings with 6:30 it’s a huge surprise but if you complain too much, the next day at 5:30. Rules are rules. Especially if the boss baby made it.

Let’s get started!

 I decided that I would like to share with you my “ordinary mornings” story. And for a better and clear presentation, I made a shortlist with general and unbreakable rules.

RULE NO 1

THE COFFEE WILL NEVER BE WARM

My fresh, warm espresso is ready. The aroma of the brewed coffee is in the air. I feel a spontaneous little smile appear on my face. Slowly closing my eyes to try a morning energy boost and I hear around the corner: “Mommy I did poo” and a minute after “Mommy I don’t like these cornflakes” or my favourite “I don’t like this breakfast”. Warm coffee died a natural death.

RULE NO 2

THE MORNING SHOWER DOESN’T EXIST

I go to the bathroom dreaming of a refreshing shower. I’m almost there. My damaged body can already feel the water droplets and I froze because kids are banging on the bathroom door, like FBI CREW, begging for milk.

RULE NO 3

MAKE UP IS DANGEROUS

I’m trying to apply mascara to one lash and same time my child licks eyeshadow and another decides my lipstick looks better on wall, floor, and mirror.

While I try hard to clean lipstick marks, my child hides in another room with my precious cream and returns with a new hairstyle. Another one came back with a dark smear on his tummy, I mistakenly thought it was eyeshadow but when I realized the huge mistake I hoped this “eyeshadow” was inside the potty.

RULE NO 4

BREAKFAST IN PYJAMAS

Dear parents, stay in your pyjamas, it will help a lot. Breakfast can fly. Most often on a fresh children’s uniform or on your charming outfit. I’m not counting the floor, wall, chair, table or less important things around. And don’t be shocked when kids enjoy eating discarded food from the floor.

RULE NO 5

EXERCISE IS DONE

I’m quite late. The sentence “Time to go”- mostly doesn’t work. Children don’t understand the time limits. Why? Just because Mom said, “she has to go”. And never, ever use “Please stay still” because my kids become the fastest and most flexible creatures in the world after this.

RULE NO 6

BREAKFAST FOR YOU DOESN’T EXIST.

I don’t feel sorry for myself. I know RULE NO 1. If I’m lucky enough, I will enjoy the leftovers from the children’s plate, this is my new diet.

RULE NO 7

MOM’S METABOLISM

I no longer use the toilet. I really prefer not to close the door because RULE NO 2 will come up, so I try with the door open, but it becomes impossible when two little eyes are staring at me. No worries, I have an empty stomach anyway.

RULE NO 8

EXERCISE DONE AGAIN

When I sweat like a Torreador after a bullfighting and my small one is almost ready, he only needs to wear shoes, yand the best part is coming “I don’t wear these shoes today” and for example it’s wet and stormy outside, but he wants his sneakers or when it’s hot and dry, he wants wellington boots. Don’t make a scene, let the child make a choice.

RULE NO 9

TOOTHPASTE TIME

Brush my teeth and help to brush children’s teeth. It’s been a battle for a while, every morning.

Catching a running child with a toothbrush in his mouth and toothpaste in his hand is a great challenge. My cute pie is sticky from toothpaste so respect RULE NO 4 and stay longer in pyjamas.

RULE NO 10

EXPECTING THE WORST

I look like a mess. My hair, makeup, and face show everyone I’m the Mother. Deep breath and calm down, girl! I’m almost finished with the impossible morning mission. Just drop my kids to Nursery. What else can happen to me? And a minute after I got the answer:

“Hi, you have some food on your blouse”

“Yes, I know, I have kid”

“But you have a lot”

“I know, I have two kids” I wasn’t ready to say:

” Yes, I know my baby vomited on my blouse”

So let me ask you, my dear parents, how your “ordinary mornings” look like?