NEW MOM AND BABY IN PUBLIC PLACES

YOUR CHILD’S BEHAVIOUR

Let’s start this entry with the fact that every child is different and not every new mother was stressed like me. For me, going to a cafe or restaurant with Patrick was quite difficult. In the first 10 months with my newborn impossible. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/?s=patrick+sleeping And then, after 10 months and Patrick’s first steps, going to a cafe was always a struggle not to break the dishes, not to fall off the chair, not to knock anything off the table, not to eat the crayon, not to spill the salt, not to put your hand in the hot food, not to spill the coffee.

EACH CHILD HAS A DIFFERENT CHARACTER

And yes, my Patrick, my first child, behaved this way. For me, quality time spent as a Mom with a newborn in public places was nonexistent. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/different-ways-to-spend-weekend-as-a-parent/ And now, after some time, I’m surprised that I didn’t fall into depression, looking at all those happy mothers with cups of coffee in their hands and children sleeping in strollers. I think what saved me was the fact that I had friends from work and relatives visiting me at home. Friends who tolerated the fact that my first child was with us all the time. Friends who saw that I always care more about Patrick’s needs than about our conversations. And that was enough for me not to struggle at home due to loneliness, and it gave me strength.

After the birth of my second child, I had the same concerns. However, what I wrote at the beginning about the diversity of children’s characters was 100% true. Dora, like a baby, was an oasis of peace, a lover of naps and walks. Every trip to a restaurant or cafe was accompanied by warm coffee and a warm dinner, without shouting, always in an atmosphere of peace and joy.

NEW MOM’S BEHAVIOURS

And since every child is different, I must point out that because of this, my relationships with other mothers began to become complicated.

When my first child was born, I had a rather unpleasant experience. I met two new mothers during pregnancy yoga courses. Their due dates coincided with mine, so after the birth, we promised each other contact and mutual support. And in their case, they had incredibly calm children. Throughout our conversation, their newborns slept in strollers. And during the entire meeting, my Patrick, when he wasn’t glued to my nipples, was screaming, fidgeting in the stroller, and, most importantly, not sleeping.

I always thought that all mothers were understanding creatures, but they weren’t and never will be. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/with-the-witchs-advice-my-coffee-never-tastes-the-same/

The contact ended as quickly as it began. The next two encounters, either on a walk or at a café, ended with me leaving early and shedding a few tears at home. Then one day, my new friends, both mothers, broke off contact with me. I often saw them together in public places, and later with their entire families. Playful, happy, with quiet children in strollers.

PLACES

UNITED KINGDOM

Before taking your child to a restaurant or café, it’s worth checking if there’s a children’s corner or playground nearby. This is very helpful, especially for mothers with active children. In England, cafés are on every corner, and practically every neighborhood has a children’s corner. Restaurants and pubs also have areas for children. Some are larger, with inflatable mattresses full of balls, while others are smaller, where children can color, browse books, or always find something they enjoy. A great children’s menu and excellent service.

CZECH REPUBLIC

Where I live now – in Frýdlant nad Ostravicí – there aren’t many restaurants, and of those that do exist, maybe two have play areas for children. My children prefer spending time outdoors in the summer. There are several restaurants with playgrounds, so we like to sit there, and the children can play with their parents. We simply try to adapt to local conditions.

And recently, in such a restaurant with a playground for children, a funny story happened to us. Fun, but only for couples with children. So the restaurant is great because it is located in the forest. https://www.restaurace-park.cz/kontakt. There is a fenced corner for the youngest, with a small house and toys. Next to it, for the older ones, there is a carousel and a slide, and last week they added two swings and a spider web to climb. And now we know what the reaction of all parents was:
“Wow, additional attractions for children, great!!!”
And then, while sipping lemonade, three people in their thirties passed me, looking for a table. The woman became very upset and said:
“This must be a joke!!! There’s no table here without kids.”
Her boyfriend replied:
“Why the hell did they add these new toys? They could have moved it! Further away from the restaurant!!
I don’t know about you, but I don’t like this place at all. We’re going somewhere else.”

MOM AND BABY’S NEEDS

In short, you, as the mom, will make the best decisions. If you feel like you need to connect with friends, not just spend time at home with your newborn, go to a coffee shop. If you feel safer and less stressed at home, you won’t want to go out in public with your newborn. Don’t force yourself to do so. The best decisions are those that align with your own will.

With my first child, I limited my trips to public places to a minimum. I didn’t want to be home alone with a newborn, but every outing was stressful, and there weren’t enough understanding people around me.
With my second child, I felt satisfaction spending time with friends in public places.
It was also different when I went to the park with my children – I was constantly chasing my three-year-old son, while my second, six-month-old, secretly ate sand but stayed in one place.

https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/why-do-moms-think-that-running-on-playgrounds-is-forbidden/

After giving birth, I had no time for myself. My outings with friends were very limited. The truth is, as a new mom, you dedicate yourself to your child, and in the process, you forget about yourself and your needs. As a woman, I quickly felt this, and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling. I took small steps towards taking care of myself again. I simply had to rediscover my place in the world, as a woman, but this time also as a mother.