NOBODY ASKED ME

“OF ALL THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN, THE GREATEST IS TO BE A MOTHER”.

– LIN YUTANG –

With my first child, I started maternity leave in February, one month before the birth. Since I was feeling great physically and mentally, I reverted to my phobia of reading a dozen books. After collecting about 20 recommended books for mothers, I gave up reading the rest.

The main reasons for stopping reading were the same stories about the baby’s sleeping routine, the same rules about breastfeeding, the newborn baby’s first stages, and other dry facts of motherhood that were repeated. When I lost all hope for an interesting book, I found a publication on Amazon: Hollie McNish -“Nobody Told Me.” It is an interesting and briefly written story from a new mother’s life, full of real feelings, including hormonal ones. Especially in my case, I didn’t feel lonely anymore with these hormonal emotions. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/my-new-face/

After reading it, I saw the obvious truth that nobody told me, that babies don’t sleep at night or that breastfeeding hurts, but did I ask? The answer is no, I didn’t ask. Babies from my friends have always been adorable, sweet, and cute to me. Even when I asked a few Moms: “How’s life with a newborn? They told me a bit about breastfeeding, a bit about baby sleeping, and changed the topic to my pregnancy.

When my time came and I was back home with the newborn I was full of fear, loneliness, and self-doubt. I remember also being disappointed with family and friends for not telling me, and not preparing me for it. The silliest answer was: “We didn’t want to scare you” or “I was ashamed of not being a good mother.”

Fortunately, as with every mother, in my case, the button with the maternal instinct was turned on quickly, and it actually worked easily with the newborn. I remember those moments of joy and pride when I struggled with my baby’s colic, breastfeeding, baby’s first bath, or diaper change. Miraculous, unforgettable times.

Fortunately, like every mother, my maternal instincts kicked in immediately, and my newborn bonded seamlessly. I remember the moments of joy and pride as I dealt with my baby’s colic, breastfed him, bathed him for the first time, and changed his diaper. Wonderful, unforgettable moments.

Every newborn and mother’s life is different, every moment with a child is unique, and postpartum challenges are equally important. It’s not about fear or shame, but about hearing real stories from real mothers. Believe me, let’s just share our own, authentic emotions with other mothers.

Finally, a few tips with which I survived the first days with my newborn baby:

– DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT –

– My child’s sleeping routine didn’t work at all. You’re not the only one who breastfeeds every 2 hours at night. It’s normal that breast milk is just being produced for the first few weeks. These rules that the baby has to wake up twice a night, or be fed for the last time at 11 p.m., do not work for all mothers.

– PREPARE FOR PAIN AND BE RESISTANT –

– Nipples are incredibly sore during breastfeeding, and the whole process of learning to nurse a baby is a whole new level of technology. Once the nipple gets used to constant sucking and chewing, everything will be fine. One midwife told me that if I sucked my thumb every two hours for a few days, it would also become red, tender, and painful. After weeks of suffering, my entire breastfeeding experience became simple and naturally amazing.

– DON’T COPY EVERYTHING YOU HEAR –

– and another disturbing statement: after feeding, the baby must burp, or he’ll get colic. Colic exists in newborns and will continue to exist. My baby would wake up when I placed him in a position that would make burping easier. Overtired, I’d walk with the newborn and wait for him to burp. I stopped this method after a few weeks, and the baby slept more soundly, and so did I. Maybe not all night, but it was still a huge change.

– THIS STATEMENT IS SURE TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE –

– My first bath for my baby, and my hands were shaking like I was in the most important exam of my life. I don’t know if it took me 30 seconds to wash the baby; I splashed him with water, and that was it. Forget about thoroughly washing the baby’s head or focusing on the belly button. The first bath is over, but it wasn’t a successful bath. Then came the feeling of helplessness and the first thought of myself as an IMPERFECT MOM. It wasn’t the first or last time I felt this way. You know, my hormones are really nasty.

– JUST BE “THE MOM” –

– Dear mom-to-be, you are the strongest personality in the world. You have an innate maternal instinct. Help yourself take your first steps in motherhood by simply asking. And when you hear a thousand answers or read a thousand books for expectant moms, stick to your principles and don’t be afraid to say it out loud. One day, you’ll secretly laugh that you had trouble bathing your baby and your nipples looked like red, bursting grapes. All these experiences, both good and bad, will make you the best, most beloved, and irreplaceable Mom.