NEW SLEEPING ROUTINE BY DOROTHY

“MYTHS ABOUT BABIES WHO SLEEP ALL NIGHT ARE LIKE MYTHS ABOUT PINK UNICORNS”

I’M A BIG GIRL

Hi, my name is Dorothy. I slept very well for the first year of my life. Everyone in my family praised me that this is how a child should be: eats, sleeps, eats, sleeps, and so on. I can sleep anywhere. In a stroller, in a car seat, in a crib, in my parent’s bed, my brother’s bed. I don’t like slings and carriers too much. Besides, Mommy also prefers a stroller because she says I’m a chubby baby. (3kg 450g / 7.60 pounds)

I don’t understand why my brother has so much energy, runs, jumps, goes crazy all the time, and eats so little. My Mommy tells him all the time: “Shush, Dorothy is asleep.” I sleep a lot when it’s dark and when it’s light. When I’m full I’m out for the count.

My Mommy meets her friends, and they repeat what a calm and sweet child I am, they know my brother and they say: “With Patrick, we never could drink coffee in peace.“

I am 3 months old and have my first tooth, everyone is shocked that I’m teething so quickly. Maybe because I want to eat normally like my brother. But I’m still not as fast and agile as my brother is. I can’t crawl, I’ve tried, but I fall on my face. I want to play with my brother and do exactly what he does. I don’t want to sleep anywhere and in the daytime.

I start leaning against the bed and tables and walk slowly. Mommy calls me clumsy chipmunks because I don’t have the flexibility my brother had at my age. But he has thin and long legs and mine are short and chubby.

I AM IN THE WRONG PLACE AND AT THE WRONG TIME

I’m one year old and I’m walking. Finally, I can take my brother’s toys, push him, and squeeze him like in sumo fights.
Mom’s friends do not recognize me, they silly ask: “What happened to baby Dory?” I’m already a big girl and I just learn fast. Grandparents also complain: “Why do I tease my brother and cry for no reason?” I am crying because I only want Mommy for myself. “Why does everyone see also my brother?” I should be here first, not him. I am the sweetest, most adorable girl, right?

I have scooters and a bicycle from my brother, but I do not have fun riding them, I prefer to walk with my Mom. I see more and more, I want to do more and more. Patrick repeats every day that I have to come back to my Mom’s belly, he’s a silly boy, I won’t fit there.

I do not want fairy tales like my brother and I do not want to stack Lego, but I love destroying Patrick’s structures: towers, and bridges. I am having such fun that he is crying, only my Mommy tells me that it is very bad and I have to apologize to him.

SO FAR SO DISGUSTING

I’m only two years old and fed up with everything. I keep hearing, don’t go there, don’t do it, don’t take it, don’t eat the sand, don’t lick the stairs, don’t touch the bugs, and just because my brother didn’t do it and how much Patrick is now a lovely four-year-old boy and I’m a two-year-old little devil.

I only sleep in my bed now, and there must be Mommy next door. I wake up at night because my teeth hurt, my stomach hurts, and I have nightmares. I also have two new rules:

• wake up and cry loudly to shake the nerves of all the family members.
• especially wake up my brother, who wants to sleep all night because he is tired in the morning. Good joke.

And my Dad and Patrick, both of these boys are taking my Mommy from me, I have to do jealousy scenes, otherwise, it won’t go. I don’t understand why Mommy wants to rest and sleep and dad has to look after me. My life is so unfair. I want to go back to Mommy’s tummy forever.