NOBODY ASKED ME

“OF ALL THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN, THE GREATEST IS TO BE A MOTHER”.

– LIN YUTANG –

With my first child, I started maternity leave in February, one month before the birth. Since I was feeling great physically and mentally, I reverted to my phobia of reading a dozen books. After collecting about 20 recommended books for mothers, I gave up reading the rest.

The main reasons for stopping reading were the same stories about the baby’s sleeping routine, the same rules about breastfeeding, the newborn baby’s first stages, and other dry facts of motherhood that were repeated. When I lost all hope for an interesting book, I found a publication on Amazon: Hollie McNish -“Nobody Told Me.” It is an interesting and briefly written story from a new mother’s life, full of real feelings, including hormonal ones. Especially in my case, I didn’t feel lonely anymore with these hormonal emotions. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/my-new-face/

After reading it, I saw the obvious truth that nobody told me that babies don’t sleep at night or that breastfeeding hurts, but did I ask? The answer is no, I didn’t ask. Babies from my friends have always been adorable, sweet, and cute to me. Even when I asked a few Moms: “How’s life with a newborn? They told me a bit about breastfeeding, a bit about baby sleeping, and changed the topic to my pregnancy.

When my time came and I was back home with the newborn I was full of fear, loneliness, and self-doubt. I remember also being disappointed with family and friends for not telling me, and not preparing me for it. The silliest answer was: “We didn’t want to scare you” or “I was ashamed of not being a good mother.”

Fortunately, as with every mother, in my case, the button with the maternal instinct was turned on quickly and it actually worked easily with the newborn. I remember those moments of joy and pride when I struggled with my baby’s colic, breastfeeding, baby’s first bath, or diaper change. Miraculous, unforgettable times.

Every newborn’s and mother’s life is different, every moment with your baby is unique, and your postpartum problems are important too. It is not about scaring or shame but about learning real stories from real Moms. Trust me, simply Mother’s talks helped me a lot.

Finally, a few tips with which I survived the first days with my newborn baby:

– DO WHAT YOU THINK IS RIGHT –

– my child’s sleeping routine didn’t work at all. You’re not the only one who breastfeeding every 2 hours at night. It’s normal, that breast milk is just being produced for the first few weeks. These rules that the baby has to wake up twice a night, or feed it for the last time at 11 p.m., do not work for all mothers.

– PREPARE FOR PAIN AND BE RESISTANT –

– the nipples hurt terribly during breastfeeding and in general, l the whole technique of teaching a child to suck is the technology at a higher level. After the nipple gets used to being sucked and chewed all the time, it will be fine. One midwife told me that if I sucked my finger every 2 hours for a few days, it would also turn red, soften, and hurt. After weeks of suffering, my entire breastfeeding experience has become simple and naturally amazing.

– DON’T COPY EVERYTHING YOU HEAR –

– and another disturbing statement that after eating the child has to belch because there will be colic. Colics exist with newborn babies and they will exist. My baby woke up when I put them in a position that would help him burp. Overtired, I walked with my newborn and waited for him to belch. I stopped this method after a few weeks and the baby slept more calmly and I, too. Maybe not all night, but it was a great change anyway.

– THIS STATEMENT IS SURE TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE –

– my first baby bath and my hands were shaking like passing the most important exam in my life. I don’t know if it took 30 seconds to wash the baby, I splashed it with some water and that’s it. Forget about washing the baby’s head or avoiding the belly button. The first bath finished but not passed. Then comes the feeling of helplessness and the first definition of yourself as a NOT PERFECT MOM. It’s not the first or last feeling like this. You know, my hormones are really nasty.

– JUST BE “THE MOM” –

– dear Mom-to-be, you are the strongest personality in the world. You have innate maternal instincts. Help yourselves take the first steps in being a Mom and just ask. And when you hear a thousand answers or read a thousand books for future mothers, stick to your rules and do not be afraid to talk about it out loud. One day you will secretly laugh that you had a problem with the bathing of the baby and your nipples looked like red cracking grapes. All these bad and good experiences will make you the best, most beloved, and irreplaceable Mom.