MY NEW LIFE IS PIECE OF CAKE – PART 2

“I open my eyes to a new life, but my mind and heart are full of memories from my old life”.

For me, acceptance in a new country seemed like a piece of cake, but reality quickly and painfully kicked me in the butt.

As a reminder, I am Polish; I have a Czech husband and two children. I have been living with my family for two years in a new country – the Czech Republic. After two years, I’m still surprised that it’s not any easier for me than it was a year ago.

Seen from my kid’s perspective

Patrick and Dorothy were born in England – Brighton. Patrick lived there for 4 wonderful years, and Dora lived there for a year. And it is my son who remembers the most. He remembers all the parks where we ate ice cream together. Remembers the sea and the rocky beach. Patrick often makes comparisons like: “In Brighton, they sold ice cream all year round, but here they only sell it in the summer.”

From time to time asks: Mom, will we visit Brighton and my friends again?

and when I answer:

“Of course, we will go there in the summer”.
He looks calm and satisfied with this answer.

I am happy for my children, they are doing fantastic. They don’t feel bad in the Czech Republic and neither do I, but my progress in making good friends is taking an awfully long time. I’ve always heard that children adapt faster and easier, and it’s true.

My kids are exceptionally good at making friends compared to me. There is no language barrier when they play together, and I can even see that children as young as 6 are great at learning English. I think they have even more fun learning a new language together.

The first winter in the Czech Republic was quite difficult for Parick. We had to make him put on a jacket and a winter hat. For him, a scarf and gloves did not exist. Of course, when it got frosty -20 degrees, he complained a lot about cold fingers and learned to wear gloves. He likes snow, like probably every child, but he loves swimming. So most often he will play in the snow and build a snowman, but the next frosty morning he will say: “I would wear shorts in Brighton, not these stupid, heavy thermal trousers.”

The funniest thing is that when summer comes and it’s +30 degrees, Patrick puts on his favorite shorts, but he doesn’t want to put on sandals. He has his favorite Nike or Addidas and doesn’t mind if it’s hot. Well, Dora has even better ideas for hot days. There’s no telling how or when her shoes disappear, and she escapes us barefoot.

And what about me? How do I see myself in the Czech Republic?

Seen from my perspective

I have ups and downs. I definitely don’t feel like I did in Brighton because I left a group of close friends there. Some with children, some without, but it was nice to spend time with them, go out for coffee, talk about everything and nothing. Showing mutual support and understanding, helping in difficult times, and enjoying small successes together – this is what I miss the most.

Nothing has changed here yet. Most of my friends are my husband’s friends, and attempts to find new acquaintances by force failed. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/my-new-life-is-a-piece-of-cake/

In my new job in the Czech Republic, where three nationalities mix, or actually four now:

• Polish people
• Czechs
• Koreans
• Ukrainians

I met some honest and nice people, but I didn’t even have time to talk to them. I can’t establish better relationships because I don’t have time for it at work.

After work, everyone rushes to their families and loved ones, and they already have their own plans. The only thing I managed to organize were a few nice events at work and there I experienced moments like with old friends, where I laughed until my stomach hurt.

I still miss those loyal and trusted friends I left far away. I’ve been without them for almost 2 years now and the longing is still acute.

These comments that my friendship with Brighton will end because we have no contact with each other make me laugh. That’s a shitty and unrealistic statement. An illusion from centuries ago. In times without internet communication and telephones, this contact actually ends quickly and painlessly.

In my case, such consideration doesn’t exist.

Besides, I would never want to lose people who cannot be replaced, who help me survive, with whom I still live as if they were next to me. I know we see each other because we visit each other. I know we’ll gossip because we call each other. But I’d like to have them here.

I want to have friends around me with whom I can celebrate my little life changes. When I come home from work after a long day, I don’t want to complain to my kids that the day was crap, I want to complain to my friends and joke about our fucked up day.

I’m waiting for you, so you better get your ass out and come over!