MEN’S ZONE AND THEIR LIFE STORIES

“Dad: He’s less dramatic than Mom, but harder to find him when we want something.”

A few days ago I started to think about presenting the other side of parenting, about my other half, the father of my kids, about the role of Daddy in the family. Days passed quickly and the thought vanish between other topics.

But one-day small conversation appears:

“Did you check my last post?“

“Why? Is something about me.”

Since it was not the first time I heard this response from my husband, and it was not the first time that he irritated me with this comment, I said:

“You ask again why I am not considering writing a few words about your role in the family. So I’ll write about your time machine, your lack of memory, and your silly calls during my work hours.“

I didn’t want to write anything behind his back or make him feel badly described, but his answer was:

“Go ahead” – and he laughed out loud.

So, dear Dad my kids, this is a post for you and about you. At your special request.

INITIATION

Once upon a time, far from this world, on another planet, there is a wonderful place with men who don’t exist on planet Earth.  And on this planet, the days don’t look like the following records:

TOILET – TIME MACHINE

I forgot a long time ago what it’s like to spend more than 2 minutes in the toilet.  I prefer not to close the door because kids are banging on the bathroom door, like FBI CREW, begging for milk. But if I try with the door open, it becomes impossible because two little eyes are staring at me. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/ordinary-mornings-by-boss-baby/

Only my husband and his going to the toilet is like stepping into a time machine and being transferred to the zone of peace and quiet, to the Internet zone. He traveled to a different male world and a different male space. His journeys last from 10 to 15 minutes, the record was a journey of 35 minutes. Sounds like I’m counting, but I’m counting and admiring my chipmunks. They don’t even think about where Dad is. And the funniest thing is when they ask about Daddy and I say:

“Daddy is in toilet”

They don’t care anymore. Here I was reminded of one of the parental jokes:

Every day poor Mommy heard:

“Mom, where are my shoes?”

“Mom I want apple”, 

“Mom I want to poop, or pee, or more water“

Anything they believe only Mom can do and you can’t change it, despite trying.

And when Dad is home alone with children, the first question is:

“Dad, where is Mommy?”

SHOPPING LIST – MEMORY LACK

When my husband opens the fridge:

“Honey, we have an empty fridge, I have to go shopping.”

“Perfect”.

“Do we need something more?”

“No, but please make a list.”

“But it’s just food, I’ll remember.”

After 10 minutes, when I am busy with my children’s bedtime, my husband calls:

“Can you send me a list of what we need?”

“Are you kidding me? You looked in the fridge yourself and saw what was missing.”

“I saw it, but I don’t remember. It’s not a problem for you. Just open the fridge and make a list please.”

Of course, in the meantime, I started bathing kids and on the way to making a shopping list, they started splashing with water, playing with shampoo, and crying after 2 minutes. It’s normal when they stay alone. Dora splashes Patrick’s face and he has shampoo in the eyes. Big drama. My husband hadn’t hung up and patiently waited for the list.

“You hear this drama, right? Just buy what you remember.”

“Ok, but don’t get mad at me later”.

MOMY AT WORK – SILLY PHONES

What my husband use to saying when I asked:

“Why didn’t you pick up the phone?”

“I was at work honey?”

During my day at work, I have three phone calls – in the first hour only, all from my husband. The main topic of conversations:

“Honey, what shoes for Dora?”

“It’s raining outside, give to her wellies.”

“Where is Patrick’s jacket?”

“He has has this same jacket for and year and a half now”.

Or my favourite:

“Did you see my sunglasses?”

I was lucky to work in a shop with a mother of two. Or as I have often heard from her, a mother of three. The husband can also be included in the children’s group.

Next conversation in rush hour in the shop:

“What to do for the kids’ lunch?“

“Why are you asking me? Ask your children. Patryk has been talking for several years, and Dora understands everything and is able to answer.”

“Maybe I’ll make spaghetti, they like it, right?“

“They love it.”

I finished my delivery and there was no queue in the store anymore. Finally, I have time for a chat and coffee with my boss, then the phone rings again:

“Honey, the kids want to see Mommy, so we’re on our way to see you.”

“Fine. I have almost done.”

And when I want to visit him at his work, with his children. Mission impossible.

“I’m busy. And it’s not good to bring the kids there.”

ENDING

There are more such small situations in the family, which are completely different for the mother and different for the father. Most importantly, the children feel good about it and the family system works for them, perfectly well. As a summary, an example conversation between two men:

“Your Mom is mad at me because I’m lazy.”

“Don’t worry Daddy, Mom said the same thing about me last week.”