IS FORTY BETTER THAN THIRTY?

I recently received a funny question: What has changed for me after turning 40?

To be honest, it’s not that much. In my case, most changes occurred after the age of 30. My relationship, my children, finally moving to another country.

But, in my opinion, we shouldn’t be forced to do something just because of our age. We should not take into account and change anything because of age limits.

Why do some people believe there are certain age limits?

1. for getting married,
2. starting a family,
3. having a partner,
4. moving away,
5. getting an education
6. and changing jobs.

You know the saying: “You are only as old as you feel.” Decide because you feel it, not because some imaginary limit is approaching and you no longer deserve to change your life or move away from established patterns.

Let’s not look at numbers, only our feelings, and personal experiences. Someone may be 20 years old, but he or she has already experienced a lot and may be wiser than someone who is 30 years old.

You know, based on your own experiences, how it works in life. And you know best that in your 20s you wanted to be single, and others started families in their 20s. It’s the same when you are 30, 40, 50, etc. Everyone has different priorities in life and you should accept them. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/with-the-witchs-advice-my-coffee-never-tastes-the-same/

Don’t come out with advice like I’ve heard around me:

• at your age, I didn’t live with my parents
• when I was your age, I had a wife
• you are at the age where you have the last chance to have a child
• or even better: I see, you are still without a partner, you will become an old spinster

Sounds familiar? Or is it only my experience from my homeland?

I was the first black sheep in the family to get a divorce, and it had a terrible impact on my family, especially. After another few years, when other people around me broke up, got married again, and gave birth to children. I was no longer a black sheep because of the divorce, only because I had no children.

And now when I think back on those times, my life in my 20s and 30s was really difficult and strange. I am grateful that all this is behind me and now I can function normally because I somehow pulled myself together and recovered from it all. But I never put pressure on myself that the years are flying by and I have to do something now or never. And I think that everything in my life fell into place at the right time. I know that during difficult, stressful life situations, a person does not see positive visions and I also thought that these dramas were the end of my beautiful life. I admit now that these were stupid thoughts.

Believe me or not I could go through this drama millions of times just to find myself in my current life, with my wonderful family and everything I have now.

I think that there are always some reasons why we are not happy in a given situation, or why we start a family, why we decide to buy a house, etc. These decisions are not made because of age but because of our priorities in life. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/my-important-aspects-that-improve-level-of-the-happiness/

It’s silly, but when I hear opinions that she is 30 years old and has decided on a career but her genetic alarm clock is ticking, it frustrates me terribly. And the best thing is when someone, for example at a party with new friends, not knowing our history, she states with irritation in her voice:

How old will she be when she decides to have a child, 35?

and then I reply to this person:

“I think it’s none of your business. I gave birth to my first child when I was 36, and my second one when I was 38.

Then the party ends hastily and I am considered a mean woman.

MATURE WOMEN

As for the happy ending, I want to share what my best friend said:
“Honey, if you hear that you’re being mean, don’t take it to heart. After so many years, you are no longer mean, you are a mature woman and you honestly answer arguments that irritate you, you have gained self-confidence and you are finally not afraid of dealing with someone who will abuse your trust. You have accepted yourself as you are, so you don’t have time to surround yourself with false friends. Your meanness is simply maturity.”