I AM HAPPY WITH WHO I AM NOW

“In the morning I look at my two children and tell myself what else in my life could be so perfect, successful, and emanating pure love.”

MY CHILDREN’S ORDINARY MORNING

Wake up

Every morning from 6:30 am we are getting ready with my children for Nursery. It’s 7:30 am and Dorothy keeps swapping one pair of leggings for another. The “Paw Patrol” tops don’t match her mood today, and she wants the “Pepa Pig” outfit.

Patrick is dressed and ready but watches Lego Friends on Netflix while his mother and sister argue. I admire my patience again, sipping my coffee and waiting for Dora to finish her fashion runway.

Nursery time

Surprisingly, we’re on time. Dora runs into the Nursery without even waving or saying goodbye to me and Patrick.

We still have some moments with Patrick to talk and collect leaves and chestnuts on the way. We are planning what DIY projects we will create in November. Our conversation turns to Santa Claus, Christmas time, and the gift list. At the front door of Patrick’s Preschool, he said goodbye, he even kissed me and ran to the teacher with a smile on his face.

Mom’s feeling

I feel so good close to my children. I love their faith, ignorance, and imagination. Every day, I try to do everything to make their lives just so wonderful, and simple. Without humiliation, punishments, and other negative life situations.

MY ORDINARY MORNING

My feelings

I leave Dora in Nursery and Patrick in Preschool and stay alone. I am left with some silly emptiness inside, which I feel more and more recently. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/my-new-life-is-a-piece-of-cake/

Day by day I try to vanish this feeling. On my way back home in the morning, I am walking in sun and I think about my children, my family, and my friends. I took the longest and most peaceful way home. The best one is between parks. I listen to the sounds of nature and, unfortunately, lawnmowers and leaf pickers too. But it’s not as disturbing as the images I pass.

Cafe

The first coffee shop appears and the feeling of loneliness returns. I see tables full of people drinking coffee, and chatting happily. I see Mothers in children’s corners, running after their babies with a cup of coffee. There are busy moms and so happy moms. And on the other side, in the reflection of the glass door, I see myself as lonely as never before, never for so long.

Friends

I remember good times when meet with my friends too. We used to go to parks with cafes, or we visited places with children’s corners and of course also coffee.

I remember my evening meetings with childless friends. With good food and a glass of wine, we worked on women’s and men’s topics, or share feedback on the next new dress, shoes, handbag, new movie, and new daily personal experiences.

Memories

After all these meetings, I have great memories that my brain still relies on. I try to walk only with those memories, it helps me load positive energy and attitude every morning, every day, and month.

Sometimes I even go to a few cafes along the way, for coffee, smoothies, and cookies, just to watch, listen and laugh secretly. Sometimes I manage to make a video call with a friend from England and spend a nice hour or two talking, drinking Czech coffee, being Polish, and living with English memories.

Home time

Around three o’clock I go out to get the children. I am waiting impatiently for their sincere confessions, funny experiences, and daily unreal stories. My children have another 100 questions to which they already know the answers.

A few minutes with them changes my pathetic face and attitude for the rest of the day. I’m a fun mom again, a creative mom, and the busiest one. 

I am also a Polish mom, living in the Czech Republic, and a mom who dreams of my special children every day.

I’m happy with who I am now.