WELCOME TO THE PATIENT MOMS CLUB

“Mom is patient, even when she hears from her mini version every day that she is doing everything wrong”.

I often think to myself:

God, why do I have to repeat something to my children a hundred times or more?

How many times have I told my children that it is nice to say hello to others?

When will they finally learn the simple word: “thank you” every time they get something?

I want to teach them some main rules, something that will help them in adult life, something that will show others they are good people.

And how does this play out in practice?

It depends on the day. I’m not sure if it’s their mood or something else, because they either shout “Good morning” to neighbors from far away, or two hours later, when a teacher walks by and loudly says “Hi”, my kids pretend they haven’t heard.

Are you experiencing the same thing? How do children change their attitude and mood in a minute?

The latest story about choosing food for my toddler:

“Kids, shall we buy nectarines? Or maybe bananas?”

“Nectarines”- my children shout.

“Great, and what did we eat for lunch? Mushroom soup is ok?”

They both repeat:

“Of course”.

Later, during lunch, my daughter takes mushrooms out of the soup because she says she’s never liked them.

What did Patrick do with the nectarines he craved so much?

He had to nibble on five nectarines before he finally found a sweet one. A few days ago, he did the same with apples, and Dora did the same with plums.

Patience brings victory

I remember the early days when my son and I could play for hours, and then my daughter was born, and every playtime ended in a fight over toys. And the older son never provoked an argument; the conflict always came from little Dorothy, because she happened to want the toy Patrick was playing with. Of course, he gave it to her, so a moment later, she wanted another Patrick, the car he was playing with.
For a year, I kept telling children we had to share, and I used the phrase, “Please, Patrick and Dora, play nicely together. Patrick, let her play with the car for two minutes, and Dora give it back to him after a while, or guys choose more cars instead of the one you’re arguing about.“
After a year, this weekend, while working on the blog, I overheard an argument in the next room over a toy. I was already waiting for the first scream from the room. And what do I hear? Patrick says, “Okay, you can play with that toy for two minutes, and then you give it back to me,” and Dora replies, “Okay.”

It’s never two minutes, but no one runs up to me, shouting: “Mom, that’s my toy!! Mom, she took my toy!” etc. https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/my-little-ones-know-me-incredibly-well/#8230

With my children, the small steps method brings positive results after “many years”

After a year, the constant repetition of the same phrase about sharing finally bore fruit. A year has gone by, and I feel like I have passed an important test of a mother’s patience. I’ve achieved my goal. Admittedly, I had a thousand doubts about why I was even repeating it, but my son listened.

My children probably know perfectly well how to greet people on the street and thank them for gifts. They know it’s polite. However, from time to time, they raise my blood pressure by saying that they said “hello” to a neighbor, but I didn’t hear it, or that they will say “thank you” for a gift another time.

A game that tests mom’s patience

Looking at it through a Mom’s eyes, I feel like my children are constantly testing me, like in some game of Mom vs. Kids. They’re fighting some unequal battle with me that I’ll lose anyway.

The funniest thing is when they want something, something important, like superglue that’s hidden in a safe place. If I tell Patrick he can get it himself, he’ll eagerly run for it and bring it to me right away. However, when I ask for something, my children aren’t as interested or as quick to respond.
They pretend to listen, tell me I’m deaf, or scream they desperately want something to eat, and then don’t want it at all.

They come up with excuses such as not knowing what nectarines taste like. They forgot how to get to the bathroom because I asked them to put their dirty laundry in the laundry basket. Recently, Patrick reported that the sink was missing from our kitchen because I wanted him to take his dirty plate away.

https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/when-you-see-how-your-child-imitating-you-and-you-start-to-get-scared/

So, honestly, dear parents, my patience is also hanging by a thread.

All I can do is trust that the rules I’m introducing to our children will bear fruit in the future. And hope that after 150 times and several years, Dora will finally find that laundry basket and Patrick the kitchen sink.