I WISH TO BE MY CHILDREN’S SHADOW

“Magnificent childhood is not childhood locked in a safe bubble.”

We recently conducted a little experiment with my children. We try to let them outside occasionally and watch from the balcony. They love being independent, especially my 6-year-old son, and I’m simply afraid to leave them alone. They increasingly pressure me to let them go outside alone. Then I have to create the same protective story for their safety:

“Children, what will happen and what to do if a stranger comes and asks you to go with him to the car, bus, or restaurant?“

Children answer:

“We won’t go and we will scream for help or call for Mom or Dad, otherwise we’ll just scream.”

“Well done! What if a stranger wants to share candy, lollipops, or ice cream with you in his car?”

Dora answered too quickly:

“We say thank you.”

After this answer, all the training to protect my children failed.

I’m surprised that I’m such a scared mother, constantly monitoring my children, but I’m not the only one. The topic of how to protect, care for, and ensure the safety of our children often comes up among my fellow Moms. During these conversations, we often return to childhood, when we were outdoors without any adult supervision. The stories we’ve experienced and shared with the group of moms give me chills. At the same time, I admire that my parents felt no fear, leaving me and my three siblings in the lap of mountain nature and cold mountain streams. I still remember how, as little children, we would play alone for hours, and no one was in danger. All the children cared for the well-being of the little ones and looked out for each other.

https://littlepuzzlesandme.com/the-silence-when-you-have-children-and-its-consequnces/

Of course, not only I, but also the neighborhood kids had a lot of freedom in the forest. Whole groups played from morning till night, and parents didn’t feel the need to control them, as I do now.

I know times are different and dangers lurk, but children are born in these times, too. And they deserve freedom and play, just like we do. I miss the freedom my childhood gave me. The freedom and independence we had no longer exist in this generation. I don’t want to restrict my children and follow their every move, but I’m simply afraid for them.
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I see a certain independence and autonomy in them when we’re not around. I love that feeling. For a moment, I forget that I have to keep an eye on them. I also forgot about their stranger safety training for a moment.

I just want to give them the freedom they deserve. Play and the opportunity to feel independent, but at the same time, I’m afraid to leave them alone.

I want to be their shadow forever.